Calling pain for what it is; reflections from Sister Giant 2017

One of the themes Marianne Williamson was talking about during the Sister Giant 2017 conference in Washington, DC was that of atonement. Atonement for the places within us where we have been hurt, have blamed others, have judged or criticized, and have disrespected.

And that by owning our hurts, our pain, and taking ownership for how this inside cauldron has affected our external experiences and relationships, is the first step towards societal healing and transformation.

In order to start healing the injustice in this world, we first have to start by uncovering and befriending the parts within us we have been in denial of or unjust to.

whenyoufeeluneasy-inspirquote-lm2017
#LiveBrightlyThePath quotes©2017 Liliane Mavridara. All Rights Reserved.

I am a person who because of my continuous quest for understanding and personal development, I have often put myself in situations where I shouldn’t have.

For example, I knew I should have left a personal or business relationship at a certain point in time, but for whatever reason I chose to stay and experience it until there was nothing left to experience.

I don’t think I was aware of this being a pattern until a few years ago when I started  noticing certain situations repeating themselves. Going back over time, I realized this had been a trend which on one hand had granted me with a richness of comfort with discomfort (for lack of a better phrase) and on the other, it had drained me out emotionally.

It took a little longer to make the conscious decision that I did not need to do that anymore. That I had learned how it feels to go deep, to fall in the emotional abyss while rising up courageously (and with no chemical addictions), and that I had graduated from this part of my journey.

However, what I also learned as I started practicing a new behavior is that familiarity with emotional depth is not easy for everyone. Seeing the pain, seeing through the pain and being able to hold it along with the learning and the gift, is not something we share in the western culture. It is not comfortable.

Because of my Greek cultural upbringing, I have a different perspective when it comes to emotional connection,  even of drama, which I have found at times to be in juxtaposition to how many people in US are taught to relate and process their emotions. So from that aspect, my way of calling things as they are may be seen as negative.

I think that the acknowledgment Marianne was talking about can not happen unless if we are willing to go “there” and call things for what they are. How else will you know what it is? How else will you be able to call pain by its name, breathe into it and then be able to release it into a sea of love, understanding, and forgiveness?

It is a powerful process, and part of taking responsibility for how we live our life and the decisions we make, is to be able to differentiate when something is seen as negative versus something that is called for what it is.

We cannot change the words we use to describe something that is sad to positive ones just so that we are not seen as negative or that we don’t make others feel uncomfortable.

Emotional maturity means we see both sides, we acknowledge them and we move towards the light. Without darkness we cannot appreciate the light, and choosing to stay in the darkness is what brings negativity.

There is a subtle difference and it is part of our personal development to become aware of it.

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