I was inspired this morning by a beautiful conversation which intrigued the topic of approval and self-respect.
Most of us tend to look at others for approval whether it is on how we think, what we do, or what we voice out to the world. Most of us tend to get hurt when we are not acknowledged or seen for who we are, in whatever form we conceive of this expression.
Through the pressures of everyday life, compounded by transitions or crisis, this need for external approval becomes so prevalent that it denotes our self-worth, self-value and self-confidence.
This process becomes so ingrained and internalized we do not see or realize things could be different, and we go on living a life disconnected from our own source. Our inner approval that has to take place so that a shift in perspective may occur.
Most of us may not even know what that looks like other than the fact that waiting or seeking for external approval causes internal stress, mental disturbance and pure discomfort. It is tricky because how can you seek something you don’t know how it feels or looks like?
Yet, there is a way to do so through meditation, reflection and coming back to your heart. It is true that you may still don’t know, but the inner peace and equanimity you develop and start aligning more and more with, will give you the tools to start working on the approval issue.
I find that the quest for external approval starts from not trusting oneself. It is not only about the knowledge one possesses, qualifications, or talents. It also involves intuition and the totality of one’s being. Yet if you cannot or don’t trust yourself, how will you know how to trust another? Truly trust because we may say we do, or think we do, until there is proof of the opposite.
Any of these qualities like love, trust and respect cannot be fully experienced with another if we have not first embodied them ourselves. For example, I can talk all I want about respect and how well I nurture and take care of my body, but if every night I drink a bottle of wine, nurture is not an appropriate word to use. Or, I can talk about self-respect but allowing for emotional or mental abuse in my relationship because I rationalize that this is how things are.
We tend to over intellectualize certain words (and concepts) and adjust them to how they suit our pursues. We become lenient in that way and grow in a mindset that it is ok to let things happen, let actions occur that are results of hate, disrespect and distrust because this is how things are.
This is not accurate. This is not how things are. It comes back to oneself. If you don’t love yourself, you don’t know how loving another is. If you don’t respect yourself, you don’t know what this entails with another, and if you don’t trust yourself you will not be able to let go and lean on someone else.
This week use trust as a starting point for practice and self-reflection. Be curious and see what comes up. It is always information that you can use to improve your life and overall well-being.
Explore visionary astrology and use your strengths and self-knowledge to increase your fulfillment, success, and impact in your greater community and the world.